When I Held Your Hand
by sayyhyysh
Summary: One-Shot. Spashley. When I Was Your Man - Bruno Mars(changed to fit).


Just a simple One-shot. I got the idea on my way home from school. This is my first attempt at writing so please leave your opinion. Thank You!

I own nothing. Mr. Lynch owns it. And the song is When I Was Your Man- Bruno Mars (slightly edited to fit the story)

* * *

Here we go again. It's been 3 months 3 weeks 2 days 23 hours since she's been gone. And here I am going in to do the very thing that ruined the very best thing that has ever happened to me.

I walk into the studio to find it empty. I know I'm on time. I seriously don't want to be here and having to wait is just going to make my mood worse.

After 10 minutes of waiting I decide to go waste some time playing around with the piano.

Sitting at this piano automatically gives me some comfort but I know that I will never be okay again unless she's back in my arms. Kyla said she has seen her with another woman having dinner and she seems happy. I just really wish she would give me the opportunity to show her that I will change.

I start playing a song that I've come to memorize. This seems to be the only way I can express my feelings. I just wish she could hear it.

_Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now_

_Our song on the radio but it don't sound the same_

_When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down_

_'Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name_

**"Hey guys!" I say walking to our usual table at Olive Garden. It has been a week since the break up and I'm trying really hard to just be as normal as possible. **

**"Hey Ash." They say in unison. It feels good to be hanging out with everyone again. **

**We sit in relative silence until my sister decides to speak, "so how are you?"**

**How am I? How am I? That is a question I've been avoiding. I'm shit. I'm lonely. I'm sad. I'm lost. I'm broken. But I don't say that, I simply reply with a "fine". They look at me I guess trying to see if I'm being honest. I know they can tell that I'm not. **

**But Aiden being the idiotic asshole he is decides to put his foot in his mouth and say, "oh thats good. I saw Spence the other day and she looked like she was doing fine also." I swear my entire body deflated and I was ready to break down at the very mention of her name. **

**For rest of lunch I couldn't focus on what was going on. I'm sure Aiden apologized a thousand times but I can't be too sure. All I could think of was her and how much I missed her.**

I hear a door open and close but I ignore it. Its probably Glen, the engineer, and I really need to get this out.

_It all just sounds like oooooh…_

_Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize_

_That I should've bought you flowers_

_And held your hand_

_Should've gave you all my hours_

_When I had the chance_

_Take you to every party_

_'Cause all you wanted to do was dance_

_Now my baby's dancing_

_But she's dancing while holding another hand_

_My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways_

_Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life _

_Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made, ohh…_

_And it haunts me every time I close my eyes_

**"Ok Ash that was great. Let's take 5 then run it again then we can move on to the next song." Chris, my producer, informs me. **

**I give him a weak smile and nod. Today is Spencer and I's 3 year anniversary. I was only supposed to be working until 2 then we had a big dinner planned. But its 7 now and it doesn't look like I'll be leaving anytime soon. **

**I step out the booth, "I'm just going to call Spencer." I tell them before I walk out the room.**

**The phone rings 4 times and she sighs when she answers. I know she already knows what is about to come. It has happened a lot lately. **

**"You're not coming are you?" Spencer asks with a disappointed tone. I hate letting her down like this. **

**"No baby. I'm sorry we got caught up and Chris wants to record one more song.**

**"Can't you just tell them you can't?" You can hear the desperation in her voice.**

**"Spencer you know I can't do that. He's my boss." I really really hate having to do this. **

**"Yeah I know..." This sucks beyond belief.**

**"Hopefully I'll be home before you go to bed. I love you baby." I really do hope so. I miss cuddling with her but don't tell anyone that.**

**"Yeah I love you too." And with that she hangs up. I really regret that day.**

_It all just sounds like oooooh…_

_Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize_

_That I should've bought you flowers_

_And held your hand_

_Should've gave you all my hours_

_When I had the chance_

_Take you to every party _

_'Cause all you wanted to do was dance_

_Now my baby's dancing_

_But she's dancing while holding another hand_

**"Babe, Jessica is having a party tonight. I think we should go. I've been in the dancing mood lately." Spence says bouncing on the bed.**

**"Spencer you know I can't. I have to finish this song and I won't be able to at some stupid college party." I tell her, not bothering to looking up.**

**I feel her get up from the bed with a dramatic sigh. I feel her standing in front of me. I don't mind her though because this song is way too important. **

**When I finally look up, I see her treating form throw her arms up and yell, "whatever Ashley!"**

_Although it hurts_

_I'll be the first to say that I was wrong_

_Oh, I know I'm probably much too late_

_To try and apologize for my mistakes_

_But I just want you to know_

_I hope she buys you flowers _

_I hope she holds your hand_

_Give you all her hours_

_When she has the chance_

_Take you to every party_

_'Cause I remember how much you loved to dance_

_Do all the things I should have done_

_When I held your hand_

_Do all the things I should have done_

_When I held your hand_

When I finally stop playing I hear sniffling behind me. I hang my head and wipe the tears I didn't even know were falling. I take a deep breath ready to face Glen and get started with recording.

I slowly turn around and am faced with the biggest surprise ever. Spencer. What is she doing here!?

I'm absolutely speechless. I'm frozen just staring at her. What seems like hours but are in reality are only minutes later she starts walking toward me. I don't know what to do so I just stand up.

"Hey." She is the first to speak.

"Hi." I give her an awkward wave.

"I heard your song."

"Yeah I see." I rub the back of my neck. This is beyond awkward.

"So who was it about?" She asks with a little smirk. she know it's about her.

"You of course." I say just above a whisper.

That causes her smirk to turn into a full on smile. I take a moment to really look at her for the first time in 7 months. She is still the most beautiful woman on the face of this earth. Suddenly the light bulb in my head clicks on. This is my chance. This is the chance I've been wanting. I need to tell Spencer everything that I've been keeping inside. Everything that I've been needing to say.

"Spence. I have some thing that I really need to get off my chest. I really need to tell you these things now because I don't know when I'll be able to say them." I hope this works.

"What is it Ash?" She called me Ash! That's a good sign, right?

Here goes nothing, "Spencer I love you more than anything in this entire world. You are my everything and you have been since I was 17. Life without you is a life I just dont want to have. You are a princess and I should have shown you that everyday we were together. I'm sorry I didn't. I'm sorry that I wasn't a better girlfriend and I'm sorry that I didn't always put you before work. I now realize that even though music is my dream, you are my entire life." I rush out, releasing a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Ashley. Stop." I go to protest but she holds her hand up to stop me from talking. "I know Ash. I know all of this stuff. I just needed you to realize it. I couldn't keep being your punching bag when you got frustrated or keep letting you treat me like I didn't matter. I get that this is your dream and that this is everything you've ever wanted but I just couldn't allow you to put us and everything we've been working toward away. I'm glad that you finally can see all the things that I've always known."

She walks up to me and wipes the tears falling down my cheeks. "I love you Ashley." That caused my heart to flutter. "I think maybe it's time to try again." I couldn't help but have a huge to grin appear on my face.

It took me a while but I finally got my girl back and I am going to do everything in my power to make sure that this never happens again.


End file.
